Never Start A Useless War: Starve Your Ego

Few weeks ago, I read a tweetwar between a so-called-selebtweet named Chaca and a so-called-diplomat named Riki. If only you knew what was the war about, you would probably laugh out loud.

Chaca wrote tweets about her recent favourite Korean Drama series (drakor). She ranked it from her most favorurite to the less one. There were so many followers who also gave their rank. I thought that was fine. There`s nothing wrong in picking a list about your favourite drakor, indeed.

But then Riki replied Chaca`s tweet with such harsh words. She said that Chaca is a new comer in drakor area, therefore she should not be confident  in making such list. She also said that the dramas which picked by Chaca is definitely show her lack of knowledge in drakor, because there are soooo many more drakors which is better. She clearly stated that she hate a so-called-selebtweet who act innocently as a public opinion leader, just like Chaca did. At that point, I was... errr... speechless.

Let me make it clear. Chaca was only made her favourite dramas list. Her follower read that and also gave their opinion. The situation might be different if Chaca claimed that her list is the most perfect one, and others opinion is scumbag. In fact, she didn`t. In my opinion, she even replied and appreciated every single list that her followers made. So what`s the problem?

At first, Chaca didn`t gave so many attention about Riki`s comment. But then, Riki was keep continuing write such harsh tweet pertain about a selebtweet, of course in #nomention way. Chaca was trying her best not to get emotionally involved, and she offered a meeting with Riki. Riki showed no interest, but keep no mentioning. Finally Chaca post a screenshoot about Riki`s personal identity from LinkedIn. It showed her ability in English and another language. Chaca said that it was a shame for a smart girl like Riki to wrote such harsh comments. After that, they both finally met and ended up peacefully in Riki`s tweets about her apologies.

Get the whole picture? 

My point here is: never start a useless war: starve your ego. 

I bet Riki`s ego was offended because she felt like she knew better than Chaca. In fact, she didn`t even completely know the way a social influencer or so-called-selebtweet works. Chaca did her list just for fun, but Riki took it personally due to her bad paradigm about selebtweet. Isn`t it a waste?

What perturbing me the most was Riki`s first defense. She asked why should a famous selebtweet like Chaca turn her mind to tweets from ordinary girl like her. That was irresponsible and... ridiculous !

Whatever you post in social media, it becomes public. It no longer your own business. You can never take back what you write. Even if you delete the post, somebody might has already captured. Dude, look how ironic the development of technology could stabbed you.

Above all, I do agree that you will always have the privilege to choose your response. Be careful, not every single war worth to fight for. You can drown yourself in a useless war and win nothing but ego, or let it go and live happily.

Just like few years ago, I accidentally saw a woman post in her husband`s wall. She wrote about another woman who (she thought) had a crush with her husband and couldn`t move on even after their marriage. She even wrote that woman was disfigure about her, in front of his husband`s family. She even said, "If that woman is brave enough, why don`t she talk to me privately?". Well, that was... eerrgh. Let me reverse. If you were really that brave, why didn`t you talk to that woman instead of writing in your husband`s wall? What if that woman didn`t read it?

The funniest fact is, everybody (and actually I also did) thought that she was talking about me. Some colleagues asked me why did she act like that. I was clueless. It was ludicrous yet irritating. I keep asking myself, should I response? Should I post a status in order to counter her post? But then someone told me to let that balderdash go. Beside that, she didn`t mention my name so I have no reason to offended. So I just blocked her account and her husband as well.

After that, I wrote a (or maybe some) post in this blog about that. I felt relief. I thought that was over. End of the drama.

Until few months ago, I suddenly received some direct messages from her in my instagram account. At that time, I was busy making a report for my boss. I read it in a glance. She sent some captures from my writing in blog regarding to that drama. She didn`t offended me at all, I guess. She even trying hard to use wise words in order to cover up her anger through my posts. If you are really move on and live happily, you will never let yourself bothered by my old posts, aren`t you? I didn`t reply. I just pressed the block button. Well, I guess my peaceful life was all that matter. Ehe.

As may I`ve said for many times. You can never control what other people think about you. But you can always control your response through every single problem. The peace in your life is your own responsibility. Choose wisely your response, because your action will determine the value of yourself. As time goes by, I learn to separate my personal problem from social media. Sometimes I just lose control and post everything that comes out from my mind. But then I realise that it will only become "a-free-entertainment" for some people, especially for those who secretly hate me :P

I never post a random comment and dwell in debate with anonymous or stranger. I don`t want to. Because even if I win the argument, I get nothing except hostility and feed my ego. In the end, it`s useless.

Last but not least, I don`t write this post to humiliate anybody. It`s just a reminder for me and everybody who read it, to not start a useless war. Never feed your ego, let it starve. Let`s hope for everybody`s happiness.

Cheers :)

Lots of love,

Fanny